Selfish...

Is selfish really bad sometimes???

Story of my life right now. Almost.

23 Things i should STOP doing to myself!

Birthdays… I never had a thing for it. To the person experiencing it, it is a subtle reminder another year have passed since your last… reminder. Not so subtle if you have a bunch of lively friends shouting it into your ears. If you are someone who treasures your own time, then everyday should’ve been equally important, not just the one that marks the anniversary of your birth. Being expelled your of your mother’s womb is hardly an achievement, and all the credits should actually go to your mom. Despite all that, it does still serve a purpose, which is that in a way it remind us who is still left in your life at you current age mark. People make an effort show you they care about your birthday because they’d still want to be part of your life, at the very least, for the year to come. Of course, at good times, these well wishes may only be lobbyist trying to maintain a beneficial relationship to extract any possible current of future gains out of you! But then again, come to think of it, if you don't even have “friends” trying to lobby you, what does it say about you???

As for me, it will be soon mark a 24 anniversary of my birth. It is hard not to reminiscent the past at times like this, about the good and better times. Just a couple of birthdays ago, I could recall how merry it was and how much I’ve enjoyed it. But since then, it only got quieter, and I’ve kind of preferred it that way too. Maybe it’s the age catching up, not just of myself but people around me as well, that we are too old for these, we all are. Heh. But more importantly, I realized it is the fact that the so called list of “close ones” I hold dear to me dwindles rapidly, year by year and I have hardly anyone worth the trouble to celebrate with anymore. So, this year, I’d greatly enjoy a very quiet one; one that would not differ from an ordinary day.

As Maria Robinson would put it - “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

So below is the list of 23 most important things that I should STOP, doing to myself, as my resolution for the my 24^th year!

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

9. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

10. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

11. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

12. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

13. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

14. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

15. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

16. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

17. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

18. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

19. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

20. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

21. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

22. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

23. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Source: www.marcandangel.com

The truth is...

Endure

Sometimes you look up and there seems to be so many more stars than ever before. More. They burn brighter and they shine longer and they never vanish into your periphery when you turn your head. It's as if they come out for us and to remind us that their light took so long to come to us, that if we never had the patience to wait, we never would have seen them here, tonight, like this. 


That as much as it hurts, sometimes it's all you can do, wait, endure and keep shining knowing that eventually, your light will reach where it is supposed to reach and shine for who it is supposed to shine for. 


It's never easy, but it is always worth it. 


-Tyler Knott Gregson-

And how i miss those time where i can see the stars, just by looking up at the empty sky.

Things change. Time changes. People change. And i can never be as i was, or even what i dream to be anymore. Because of them, dreams too, have to change.

Going 'Home'

"You won’t truly love until you’ve lost. "

This term brings a far greater meaning to me now. Looking at the things and stuff I’ve got to pack before leaving the country down under, only do I realised that how much I’ve called this – my home. Although it had just been a mere 3 years more, it felt like I’ve been here for ages and there are so many joyful memories left to cherish. Oh, there is so much I love here and leaving it all behind is killing me inside. It is true that I vowed to be back, but the future is unpredictable and who knows what challenges and troubles lies in the road ahead? But my departure is inevitable so I can only store every memory in my heart. Home is where your heart is, no?

and i am bringing my home with me...

They say that if you follow the path and do it right, you’ll reach where you want to go. Sadly, I’ve learned the hard way how flawed and deceptive that simple statement is. In life, there’s not a single path there will guarantee you destination, not a single way that will guarantee you success. I have struggled to perform, to shine and to stand out from the crowd and yet it does not lead me to where I want to go. 

Maybe it was all along a mistake. 

Just like in Taxes Holdem, I should have folded when my odd weren’t that great. 

Instead, I followed to the River merely with a gut shot straight. 

And when it doesn’t come, I’ve lost and paid. 

Sometimes, I just like to see the people passing by, living their everyday life. I wonder what I lacked to actually get a job here. Is it that I’m just not good enough, academically? Or my presentation shows nothing of me? My cover letters that badly written? Or I just don't have the flair that captures them? What could I have possibly done wrong!?

What I’ve done so far, I’ve done my best and yet, it seems it is not enough. I really do wonder what those people have that I do not. I don’t believe in luck or fate but those are the stuff that can ease my pain right now. I can’t help but wonder that I’ve done everything just right and even better, but maybe that is what’s wrong with me. Perhaps, in life, one have to step out of line to get things done. In the movies, it is the badass characters that breaks the law that people like and get the ladies right? Maybe life in actual is just like that. Maybe is time for me to break some rules and be a renegade, for once. Because I believe, I no longer have anything to lose.  

I may seem like I’ve given up but trust me, I have not. There’s a fine line between despair and knowing you’ve lost and accepting it. I will be back again, better, stronger, and bolder.

I am sad, disappointed and a bit frustrated, but …

I am not beaten.

Not yet. 

A Career Passion

How far is this statement true?

A short video I found rather interesting.

http://www.ted.com/talks/larry_smith_why_you_will_fail_to_have_a_great_career.html?source=facebook#.T119XsbCUzc.facebook

Sorry for the link, can’t seem to post the video on blogspot directly

Anyway, of what he said I would agree on many of its point and disagree on a few. It is true that “interest” is not anywhere nearly comparable to “passion But can one not have more than a single passion? 

But I can’t agree more that the era of “good careers” are over. You are either an underpaid slave or you are in a great career. Though, I would wager much that the majority of the society is stuck in the former. With many personal experiences lately, being highly competent is really an insult to yourself nowadays. Being competent only (which I guess I am) do not even entitle you a chance to be the slave of free market. You have to be willing to work hard and harder for it, and you will be given that much – work that is. 

Being someone who also desires greatly to pursue one’s passion, I fully understand what Larry meant when the majority who does dare to take action are merely hiding behind their limitless excuses. However, in today’s cruel and realistic world, I would say that it is a luxury to have the opportunity to pursue one’s passion. First, not all passion is one that earns you living in this world. You have a passion in art, a talent for it but not the appreciation from the society, can you really survive in this world by that itself? What if you passion is into physics just as Larry mentioned, a material for a noble laureate, but then you family do not have the resources to send you to the right courses or you do not get funding to do the research you are passionate about? Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to bring the issue to its extreme but the fact is that we live in a society that does not treasure this passion.  

Why you may ask? The answer is simple. The society is made up of individuals, those that are stuck in their rut of not able to pursue their passion because of petty reasons and excuses. Therefore, it is logical for them to not appreciate or even look down upon those who come and pursue their true passion. This is the society we live in. Ignore then? If you have the wealth and freedom to ignore the world and pursue what you truly want, that is a luxury. Many of us do not have that luxury.

So if you do, shame on you for not pursuing you passion! 

Enter the Dragon

The Dragon awakens! As a mythical creature of unmatched power, many believe this year brings great promises. If you are a traditional Chinese believer, this is not a good year for me as I too was born in the year of the Dragon. I for one believe no such thing.

To me, using years, date, numbers or certain astrological signs that can somehow predict your personality, and have your whole life written before you as though you are but a voodoo doll in fate’s hand is nothing more than mere hokum. They are but self-fulfilling prophecies for the weak minded looking for an excuse. If you believe it, they are true. Because you act upon it believing its true and selective attention attribute every event to reinforce such prophecy. That is how the human mind works.

However, I do believe the year of the dragon will bring significant changes to my life. Whether coincidental or I have fallen victim to my own mind’s attribution, only time could tell. For in 1988, year of the dragon, I took my first breath of life, and look upon the world with my uncorrupted mind. In 2000, year of the dragon, I nearly step over to the other world. Death welcomed me with open arms but when I open my eyes again, I was reborn. Alive again with a fresh perspective, with a flame in my heart, and I was never the same again. 2012, year of the dragon, what entails in this year of change? Entering the workplace? Entering into a relationship? Or will I find a new flame and the will spark a new dream for me?

I can only hope for an experience as confounding and enlightening as before but just a little less dangerous, for who knows if I would wake up again, huh? =p

2012 - What are you waiting for?

As the Rabbit hops away...

I could only sigh as 2011 hops away from me. If you were to ask me how did it go, i would think that this quote best describes it.

“There’s an old joke. Um… two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ‘em says, ’Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.’ The other one says, ‘Yeah, I know; and such small portions.’ Well, that’s essentially how I feel about life – full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly.” - Alvy Singer -

I know its pessimistic and sadistic, but that is exactly how my year felt like. I realized that in this world, people would push you around. Chances, opportunities, are taken, not given. I guess i have willed it before, or that i have said it a million times, that i shall be stronger, colder and not pushed around only to fail almost every time, again. I always asked myself what i lacked? The will, or the courage, or the reason to stand up against an external force, rather than absorbing it or rather tai-chi-ing it around.

As for 2012, i wish only for inner strength.I will keep hope, look forward, move on, and never regret! For once, a wise said to others: "You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road, and surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength."

To add a lil humor to this gloomy, emo post, this is a song or chat is something i shall recite for the years to come! Enjoy. =p

The Ladder of Life

I believe life must always be forward looking. But as we look back in our past, there are things to gain as well.

There were once a couple who lived on the 80th floor of a building. They went camping one day and came back only to realize that the building is having an electric shortage and the lifts are not working. Although they are carrying a huge backpack, they are sweating all over and needed a shower so they decided that they will take the stair back home.

As they climbed the flight of stairs to the 20th floor, the husband told the wife. “Honey, I can’t take this anymore, it’s too tiring. Why don’t we leave our backpacks at the 20th floor and when the electricity come back, we can take to elevator back down here to retrieve our back pack!”. The wife replied: “You are so smart dear! Let’s do that”. And so, without that excess baggage, they climbed happily up the stairs again.

However, as they reach the 40th floor, they legs began to sore and grew tired. They are only half way there and there were 40 floors of stairs yet to go. They started arguing and blaming each other why didn’t they notice the memo about that electric shortage or blackout. They blamed each other for putting them through so much trouble.

They argued as they climb and they finally reach the 60th level. At that point, they were exhausted and didn’t even have the energy to argue anymore. They husband then state: “Let’s not argue or quarrel anymore. Why don’t we climb the rest of the stairs in peace and quiet?” The wife agreed and so they continue walking.

At long last, they reached the 80th floor. The wife then said: “Please quickly open the door, I’m exhausted!” The husband then said: “I thought the key was with you!?” Then they realized that they have left the key in the backpack on the 20th floor!

Some people say this story is liken to one’s life journey. From our birth to the age of 20, we are always living under the expectation of our parents and teachers, just like carrying the weights of a big backpack. After 20 years old, we will be able to let go of this baggage of responsibility and live with much freedom and happiness for the next 20 years. At 40, we then realize we have so much regrets and resentments. Our lives become unhappy or dissatisfied, and we start to blame the company we are working at, the government, everyone. At 60, we do not have much time left to live. We will then tell ourselves that we should just treasure what we have and live the remaining of our life at peace. At 80, it's the end of our life’s journey. As we look back at our lives, only did we realize that our dreams and passion were left behind at the age of 20, and were never achieved, just like those keys.

I will not follow the footsteps of this couple climbing the stairs. I will never let go of my dreams and ensure a life of no regrets. What about you?



It was just yesterday, that I turned 23. Merely on my verge of leaving the academic baggage, I have to embrace this new found freedom of employment. My dreams are clear to me as before, but its path now blurred by uncertainty and diffident. It is sad that the mere possibility of employment that I once despise is exciting me at this level. My standards is really going low huh?

Lost as I may, the will and believe remains that I, will take whatever means necessary, to get there. That is my birthday promise!