Departure

"Like the sunset, all we could do is watch as the beauty fades into the horizon. Nothing we could do to stop it, only to appreciate it more and capture that window of time in our memories, hopefully for eternity."

Life feels different at every phase. Liken an adventure story from a fairy tale, each chapter brings new conquest, new villains, new challenges and new terrains that our little heroes must overcome to ultimately save the princess. As the pages of my life flips, I would enter into a new chapter once again.

I officially felt left behind since the last known college mate of mine has moved into the working world too. Everyone is now in the euphoria of money-making and goal achieving. For once in my life, I felt like I’m too slow. Heh! It’s not like I’m not making an effort, but the unconventional methods applied does sort of lack the general consensus to boost confidence. Trading and investment may seem like a sure way, but just after one year of experience, I felt that I have much to learn and investing is really not for everyone. Talent, time, patience and effort are essential to make success from this endeavor and I seriously doubt I have all the keys. Yet, if I don’t knock, how would I know if its lock, eh? Time will tell.

I’ve been in Australia for 2 years now. Each, a journey of its own. The first was by far the most enjoyable and happiest, but ironically making it the most regrettable. It will remain as a memory I treasure kept in my vault of reminiscence. Life took ironic turns. As I learn to appreciate memories better, my second year was hectic, busy and to a certain extent boring. It was a great sample to my future life in Australia, and I must say I didn’t enjoy it all that much. As the third year approaches, I wonder how it would turn out to be. A roller-coaster ride no doubt, but screams of fear or screams of joy, I can’t tell.

The last few days, I have been meeting up as many friends as I could for the customary pre-departure catch up. I must say I’ve been very luck to know each and every one of them, which added colors to my black and white pages. I knew I was the anti-social kind with a liking of being alone, yet they show me the warmth of company I will miss in Sydney. I doubt I could be lucky again getting to know such a rowdy bunch there, which cast doubts about my decision to stay there.

Bah, the mix of feelings in my brains is killing me now. I used to be so stale of emotions. There are so much on my mind now. The fact that I do not see my future self in front of me now disappoints me. Because this proves that a time machines was never built in my life time, for I would have used to come back to this point, and tell myself, if it’s all worth it in the future. I’m so lost… Maybe my friends are right, I should really get a partner I can talk to and share my soul with, but yet, it’s easier said than done =S

Lemme tell you a secret....

Shhh...

Happy Valentine!

This day, usually does not mean much to me, but this year, it kinda feels weird.



I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide
Across this new divide, across this new divide

Awesome song! Just hope, like the lyrics i can cross this new divide and to have a reason to be wrong!!! Feeling all lovey-dovey eh? =D

If not now, when?

"I do not wish to learn many skills, know many things, and have many friends. I only need one extraordinary skill, know something very well and have some true friends."


The Chinese New Year is evidently over, with much of the people back to work and busy with their life making success, my life is once again reduced to a boring routine of helping my parents and studying for IELTs. The only luxury that I can have now seems only to have a good book to read and some peace to concentrate on my Hope Fund.

Speaking of which, my time is almost up here in Malaysia. About 2 weeks or less from now, I’ll be far away again, this time, not knowing when I’ll be back again. I have much to do actually, IELTs exams coming this sat and next mon, making my dental appointment and finishing up my shop list. I guess the next time I set foot here, friends will come in big cars handing me business cards with big titles. This trip, everyone was talking about their dreams and their plans on getting there. Some maybe more secretive than others, but I really don’t see the point of hiding it. However nuisance it is, it is but a dream =p

I really think I am a simple guy. I don’t need a job with high positions, just one that pays me what I’m worth. I don’t really need a fancy job, maybe even just an ordinary bank job that gives me more free time to work on my own Hope Fund. I believe investing for myself is much better than helping the bank do it and getting paid just a small share of it. Sadly, making a profit from trading is far tougher than I imagined. I really want to put more effort into it, master the skills and make it work, but so far, the lack of capital has made Hope Fund a standstill. With the ability to grow the fund but not enough money to grow on sucks!

Life is such a bitch.

Those with the money are wasting them on unnecessary or temporal pleasures of luxury. Some stuff them in the bank thinking that they are growing it. Those who have the heart and knowledge to grow or even multiply it are however, does not have the money. Another idiotic phase of life.

I really wanted to sell the funds to friends despite my principle of not wanting to mix friendship and business. But in light of the riskiness of the fund and many really don't save much, i really hate to see friendship turns sour from such a thing. Then again, if one of Warren Buffet's friend trusted him when he's started his fund, the friend could have easily become a billionaire by now. I'm not saying i could but i really wanna share this opportunity with others too and i really want the money. After all, this is my dream =p and i don't want this opportunity to slip through!



It's risky, yes, but isn't this the best time to risk it all?



On a side note, to someone stalking my blog, you know who you are. I think you are the only one reading this blog. And I really don’t think you know me good enough, haha, I shall sit down and listen on how you analyze me one day =D

Life is but a paradox.

The more you live to think about it, the more it seems ironic to you. Well at least to me.

Some people don’t understand the true meaning to time value of money. If money have time value through compounding, it would eventually means that time have monetary value. Wasting time = wasting money, no? It is indeed common mistake to put money away and lose its time value but I really don’t see why people could spend their time away just to save a few bucks. Example? People could spend hours stuck in traffic not forgetting the petrol used to save for a toll of 2 bucks? Enlighten me please.

After all...

=p

The concept of sales also fascinates me. I think it can be said to be one of the greatest creation of all time. Really, whoever that invented it deserves a Nobel Price! Can you imagine the fact that it can make people fight through crowds, wait enormously long queue, spend more money and yet appear at the end of the day, happy, even proud and saying “I saved money!” Ahh, the power of sales, incredible!!!

Maybe it’s true, buying in bulk may save in the long run but what amazes me even more is that people would bargain and try to squeeze in every penny from a small purchase, from a shirt to a shoe to some souvenirs but never did it cross their mind to get a better price in large purchase, like securities or their housing. Truly remarkable.

It also just hit me that life as a whole nowadays is like a paradox. We exist to enjoy or to a lesser extent, survive. In such a monetary idolizing world, money is essential to survival which brings us to working. In working, we stress, we struggle, we crack our brains to get better pay, to get better living conditions. So why to we make our lives hard in the first place just so that in our ultimate goal is to make life simple? This is indeed a paradox harder to solve that any mathematical question. And I guess my life will soon be part of it, however so unwilling I am to be part of it. Which brings me to the point that people also never do things they know are right, and on the contrary, do the otherwise. Weird ain’t it?

I guess even I...

=X



And i wish everything can be this simple =D Ignoring the world.

Also, I guess relationship matters are becoming a paradoxical scenario for me. I am no expert, in fact, I’m even far from being a noob. People try so hard to seek for a true love, but when love do come, they are unsure and afraid to grab hold of it. And sometimes, when they finally want to take it, it seems too late and all is already lost.

Maybe, part of loving is letting go. How ironic!