Gosh, people's been calling me a nerd half my life, and then suddenly i realised, i am becoming one now. Damn... and for what?
Well, shortsightedly, i'm here for my quiz tmr which i have no clue about its content and i am pretty sure i will not have it until tmr either. But in the bigger picture, i'm really in a lost. WHY AM I HERE...?
I could very well back in Malaysia, studying a far easier course and scoring it twice as easy. I could be appreciated with my results and get a job in no time, maybe even one with a good positions. I could have my parents taking care of my everyday meal, and chores, even have a car to drive around. I would have friends, that i can talk to, have fun with and even laugh our hearts out. With the contacts i have at home, i have opportunities, to do whatever form of small business i want. And humbly, with my skills, i believe i can make it up the ranks. In essence, i will be in my comfort zone.
But yet, i choose a path less traveled. Here, i study a crazy course, where your results does not seem reflect your talent or your effort, but in the difficulty in which the paper is set. I spent most my time studying, just so that i can walk in the exam hall, not with confidence, but with a little less fear. I need to care for my 3 meals and the numerous daily chores of daily life. I don't have close friends that i can talk my heart out to. I wake up alone and go to sleep just the same. I don't have a job and struggle to find one. I know no contacts, and the currency here is so high that my savings had become trivial. With my skills, i am consider mediocre at best. In essence, i am either crazy, suicidal, or an idiot.
And the funniest thing is, people envy me. Don't ask me how, don't ask me why, but the grass is always greener on the other side. I envy them too.
Is it glory and fame that i seek? To prove myself better than anyone else back home? Is it wealth and success that i seek, because no one guarantees it, even if i am here.Is it happiness in life that i seek? But it sure seem much joyful back home with my group of friends.
Deep down inside, i knew i made this choice, and i knew i wanted it. Even with a million reasons that says i'm nothing but a fool, i will keep walking.
Taking the path less traveled, is less glamorous than it seems, and it's not always the most rewarding one. But i want a change, i want challenge and i want to see how far i can go. I believe everyone is gifted in their own unique way. And i don't want to live in a mediocracy that will bury my potential. I want a path that will squeeze every soul and strength out of me, and keep squeezing. Even if it kills me one day, and left me with nothing but a title of idiocy. It's worth it, because, i would have lived a life, without regret. =p
Now, back to my studies =/
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