To re-live a wanderer's tale...

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

It’s been awhile, since I last wrote. Or should I put it ‘he’ last wrote? Because he is he and he is gone. Things have changed and so have I. And to do that, I have to let go of my past self. He couldn’t have taken any of this anyway and it is about time, for something better, something colder and something harder, something more serious.

I’ve chose the road less taken. Will it lead me to where I want to go? Will it lead me to a oasis, a paradise on earth the heavenly Avalon? I do not know.

But without regrets I will continue walking, no matter what.

Far have I traveled, beyond what I perceive was the end of the world. I was smaller than I think. The empty cup was more filled than he wanted to be. And against this new abyss, he learned a little more from the countless falls. The little empty cup is once again a little more empty now. But far from reaching the bottom, he knew it.

Facing countless enemies and challenges, he tried to defeat them all but realize he has lost. Badly. But not to anyone greater, stronger or wiser. But to himself. And it is there he realize, all it takes is defeat himself, because he is the only enemy. He is the devil, and everything that stands in his way, the only thing that actually matters. Knowing one’s greatest weakness is to grow stronger already. But that is not enough, not anymore.

Where has the silent wanderer go? Touched by the warmth of loving-ness and faith, his cold heart melted, he grew soft, where he originally was. But to be the killer he once was again, he has to once again, steel his heart, lock his emotions and reignite his burning flame. It is easy now, since cold spikes have shattered within, the warmth is lost replaced only by an emptiness, which must be filled. The wound may never heal, but it is a great opportunity, to bring the killer back again. It was his greatest strength that is his greatest weakness, that hurt him the most, that killed part of him. I wonder if he will ever recover from this, or if this is the best cure for his broken soul.